Day after Christmas and 34 weeks pregnant

So it is now the day after Christmas and I had the worst Christmas I have ever had. I bought gifts for everyone that I am close to and they loved every present that I got for them. But for some reason every single one of the people who bought me a present either regifted or bought it because it was cheap and it was a "you might like this right?" kind of gift. I got the books A Series of Unfortunate Events which are elementary school level books. I am nearly 20 years old and they give me books made for a 7 year old? Yeah thanks. Then they give me a lotion I am completely allergic to. I got a camera but I got it so that I can take a ton of pictures of my baby when she is born (By the way it is a she and her name is Elizabeth Titania Marian) and give them to other people. Makes me so angry. Then I started to get really frustrated because about 30 of my friends from highschool are all engaged and getting married next year. Most of them to people they just met or people who are not good for them. But that is just my opinion and I guess it doesn't really matter what I say. Anyway after all of my frustrated feelings toward people getting married I had a very pleasant surprise. I found that my breasts started to leak out a white clear liquid. I am pretty excited because that means that my milk ducts are preparing to produce milk for my little one. I am looking into the different types of breast pump and breast pads so that it doesn't leak through my shirt anymore. So you win some and you lose some.

To my previous Blog post

I never finished it. It has been a year to the day since I didn't finish that blog post. Since then I have gotten a job working as a cashier at Walmart. I am pregnant and currently 17 weeks. Tommorrow I will be 18 weeks. I get to find out the sex of my baby at the end of this month so please don't ask. I am still in college. It is still a pain. I still have a shitty English teacher and his voice is the worst thing I have heard since screaming babies.

Anyway back to my job. I am working at Walmart and at first it was fine. It was interesting and new. But since I have gotten pregnant it has become a living hell. I am not supposed to post about the problems I have at work but you know what? You don't know which Walmart I work at and I am not going to tell you any real names. So here we go.

First of all since I got pregnant I have been doing all in my power to transfer departments. Later on I am not going to be able to lift alot of weight and I am sick of handling the food. So I was trying to switch into clothing. Even if it meant a pay drop I needed to switch.

I swear as if on que Assistant Manager A writes me up. Now this was the first time I had been written up but because it was about WIC there was no conversation about it, it was an automatic write up (if you don't know what WIC is google it) He had said that I had wrung up the wrong product of formula for a customer and that made my drawer short. But then later that day when I did another formula WIC transaction the ammount was the exact same. When I brought this to his attention he brushed me off like it was nothing and moved on.

The next WIC problem that I had they combined with my last one because it had actually happened before. But it was that I hadn't gotten the price OR the signature of the person. This is something I would never do. And when I say never I mean ever in a million years would I even consider EVER doing this. But I remained silent about it.

My next write up was about my attendance. Now my store doesn't accept doctors notes so no matter what I would have done nothing I could have said would have excused me from my absences. Even though I was and am still suffering from morning sickness. I have made a resolution to myself that I will not go home now unless I am sent home.

Anyway that is all I am really upset about because with those two write ups I am unable to transfer departments and will probably have to quite my job altogether when the baby comes. They are extremely intolerant about pregnancy at my Walmart and treat me very harshly. It isn't fair for anyone but especially someone in such a delicate state of being.

Douche College Professor

So as I begin I want you to know that I have graduated from high school and have begun my journey to "real life". And real life isn't taking me in to well. I am still living with my parents and I still go to school. Not much has changed. I had a job. Got fired. I now have a different job in retail. Anyway that is mostly what I have to update on my life. I just want to tell you a few things about my college experience.

I can't stand two out of four of my professors. And it is strange because it was the two that I expected to REALLY love. English, and Stress management.

My English professor is a globalization and current issues freak. Most of my class I haven't truly learned ANYTHING about English. I have just learned how to look up articles and become global centeric and not care about anything that is actually happening around me. In my country. In my home.

My stress management class and professor has caused me the most stress out of all my classes. I almost failed the class (along with 90% of the class) because of her poor organization skills.

Another thing that I want to talk about is friends. So as you saw in my previous post I haven't been doing well on the friend front. It is pretty sad because of how social I am. I don't talk to anyone now besides Hannah Gale (who has become my best friend wierdly enough) and as always m

Marriage and other things that drive me CRAZY

Okay. This blog is going to need alittle backstory because I don't think I have told you guys what happened durring this point and if I have bare with me.

I go to school with my parents. As a result several of the people I went to highschool with also go to school with my parents. My parents are now friends with two people that are two years older than me and used to be my friends. Now they are nothing but the annoying shits that come over and steal my parents from us.

Anyway in my parents "group" there are Kia and Jaquie (the two that used to be my friends), Blaine and my parents. Long story very very short I am not allowed to talk to them anymore because the last time I did Blaine ended up talking to me more than he talked to my parents and we hung out more often than he hung out with my parents. That resulted in my mom getting jealous and telling me not to hang out with him anymore because she felt like she couldn't talk to him anymore because he tells me everything. Whatever I was pissed I got over it (not really I am still siverely upset at how immaturely my mother handled that) and we moved on.

My parents have a drinking problem whether they like to admit it or not. Actually it is pretty much just my mom. Johny doesn't drink much. But when my mom drinks she drinks until she pukes.

So yesterday was Kai's 21st birthday and to celebrate my mom went out and bought a variety of alcohol. The birthday boy had ONE BEER. My mom and Jackie downed most of it and Johny had one shot glass and Blaine had none (he got in trouble for drunk driving and now has a breathelizer in his car)

Anyway I went out because my parents hadn't saved me anything for dinner and I had done a 9 hour shift on a newly sprained ankle. I came home to hear that my mother was puking her guts out.

I hate people who drink. Anyone who drinks like that completely disgusts me. Especially when they do it in a house filled with CHILDREN (my siblings) who exstremely impressioned by the actions of the adults they are supposed to be able to look up to you PUTRID FUCKING SHIT FACED WHORE. Sorry had to get that out of my system.

Jackie ended up staying over and threw up on the floor and all over herself and her phone causing it to break (bitch deserved it)

This all pissed me off and reminded me why I am moving out of this fucking house.


Next we are going to talk about marriage and weddings. I am so sick of every single one of my friends getting married before me. One of the most recent ones has only been dating the guy for 6 months and barely knew him before that. I have been dating Jackson for 5 1/2 years and am gettin married in November. One of my friends only knew her significant other for a month before they got married.

I am so sick of people telling me how in love they are. Because they said the same goddamn thing about the last person. I hope you get married and have children and are unhappy until you can't stand it anymore and get a divorce. Thus realizing the cycle that is consuming this generation. You stupid piece of shit. You don't even know the person you are spending the rest of your life with. Why would you rush into it? You know that it is going to end for you right? Or are you so dilusional to think that you pitiful little relationship can even compair to what I have gone through with Jackson? What gives you the goddamn right to get married so early. Why should you get to get married while I have to wait so EVERYTHING is perfect? Why do you just get to say "oh I am getting married in a week." a week before it happens? YOU ALL DISGUST ME.

You got engaged yesterday and you are getting married in two months? Wow that was fast. I have been engaged for over a year. Tell me again how you are "obviously" more in love than I am. How your marriage is going to be "better" than mine because yours has "god". Fuck off.

Anyway. This is what has been bugging me lately. Also flakey ass friends and losing bridesmaids. I hate that. But the planning is going well. I really should stop doing these so late my grammer sucks serious balls when I do that. But I get so angry I need to let it out somewhere. So welcome to my blog mother fuckers. (I also seem to swear alot when I am sleepy)

March 8th 2012 (In Health Class)

Hey guys! What is new? Well alot actually! I am getting married in November of this year on the 10th of the month. I am in college and am very happy about it. I am working at Wal-Mart and it is the best job I have had so far. I am really enjoying my life. But let's get down to business.

My mother got accepted to do a speech competition today. She has been pondering and pondering and pondering about her topic for over 3 months. And as per the usual ammount of "on-top-of-it" attitude that she has, she started writing it this morning and is skipping school to try and finish.

Do you want to know what she finally decided to write about? And when I say this I don't want you to think I am joking because I am not... She is writing about World of Warcraft (or WoW) and how it applies to an application/resume tfor a job. And that it should be highly thought of to play this MMORPG (massive multiplayer online role play game) despite the "steotype" that follows those who play it. I have a few problems with this.

1. My mother chose this to try and vallidate why she is doing/playing WoW instead of getting off her 300 lb butt and getting a job.

2. My family is living off of 1 income (not including the money that I pay her every month that she DOESN'T claim with the state which is illegal) and my father only makes about $500 a month. Along with that we are getting state benefits and student loans and somehow that means she gets to spend a greater part of her time to play games? I don't think so.

3. Does this mean she is going to say on HER resume "for the horde" because that would seem pretty pathetic to me. It is a shame to those people who go OUT to get that experience instead of paying money for a monthly prescription to a ridiculous online game. There is nothing that this game can give you that REAL WORLD experience can't give you 10X more respectably.

My mother and father spend a GREAT amount of time and money on this game of theirs when we are a family on a fixed income. We are constantly living on the edge of nothing and yet they find the time to pick this game over the proper love and attention that they should be PAYING to their children.

I have accepted that I haven't had a mother for a long time. But my little sister who is only now going through puberty without any support from my mother. My sister who is just below me is now completely responsible for making sure that everyone gets fed because I have a job now and can't be home to make food anymore.

These are the things that really piss me off. We haven't had a family dinner since they started playing because they have "raid" during the time we would have eaten together. This is the most disgusting problem in my family.

I want them to stop. They are to old to be acting like this. I get that it is the only thing they do together now but GODDAMN it they need to have face time. Learn to turn off your goddamn computer and talk to you goddamn kids!

I am done.